Many people have also wondered about their choices in career, relationships and whether to procreate or not. I spent way too much of my early decades worry about what I was going to do. What degree or training did I need now and would serve me best. I have been guilty of spending too much time as a human doing, instead of a human being.
Who am I? In my mind and my history, I am many things that you would never know to look at me. I’m a ballet dancer, a painter, a sculptor, a dog trainer, a dispenser of hope to people in situations that seem insurmountable. I love ancient history, reading and a little trash TV on the side, horseback riding and running.
I like to have fun, despite the old adage “money is not funny.” Actually, money can be funny, joyful, sad, and elusive. So many of us eat up hours every week “worrying”. We worry about Covid, we worry about out financial viability and our ability to survive when and if the underpinnings of our lives are suddenly kicked out from under us.
People worry about money more than almost any other topic.
As a culture we believe that having more money will make us happier, even though research has shown us that past a certain level of income money does not make life happier.
Money does not replace family. My father died when I was 19 and I would take a vow of poverty today to have one more ride in the car with him. My brother died last summer and what would a few more hours with him would mean to me is priceless. I constantly wish I had access to my mother who was a writer and could continue to stress the efficiency of language to me.
All of this family was there one minute and gone the next. None of these people retired, because they all loved what they did and if they didn’t, they changed it.
You simply have to make time for the people in your life.
My father went to work and never came home, my brother dropped dead before he could close the door to his car and my mother dropped dead mid-sentence in the car with me. No one has to explain to me that life can change in an instant.
I have a small family and the trajectory seems to be that we are getting smaller. I have helped a number of people battle evil cancer and some of them have won. A few have lost their battle and at least two of these dear friends used the hospice residence in Nashville as their launching pad. I have been with the dying often enough to assure that no one gives a damn about what you did and how much money you accumulated at the Hospice Residence.
People with inherited money sometimes feel ashamed that they did not “make” the money they inherited. This “feeling” weighs on people and steals their happiness. These people are not poor, not even close, but they cannot allow themselves to enjoy themselves.
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